The question of boosting self-esteem is the million dollar question. Who wouldn’t want more confidence in themselves and their abilities? After all, low self-esteem pushes us to rash decisions, whispers that there are smarter/beauter/talented than us, and it’s better to keep a low profile in general.
What is the danger of this? That we set our own limits, that we set the bar, that we create a shell that no one can break. Be warned at once: raising self-esteem is incredibly difficult, and there aren’t magic spells from the “I’m the most charming and attractive” series. They won’t hurt, but the problem goes much deeper than that.
What Is Self-esteem?
Self-esteem is a filter that blinds us to the world, allowing only some of the information. By understanding how this filter works and how it distorts your personal reality, it will be easier for you to understand the situation and, despite the nagging feeling of “I’m not worth it,” to decide and try new ways. Self-esteem can be improved, but it will take some internal work and some effort on your part. But it’s worth it. Seeing real life without a distorting filter is much more interesting. What to do if you have low self-esteem? To deal with insecurity, try the following ways.
Check Your Assumptions
Often we suffer because we make up non-existent obstacles. We may think that we irritate colleagues, that the boss does not like, and all his girlfriends are more beautiful and successful than us. You can fantasize to yourself anything, and to be deeply mistaken.
Discuss your speculations about who and how they treat you, double-check them. From a colleague who allegedly ignores you, you can ask if you offended him in any way. Or try to look for objective reasons why he might not like you.
Do a little visualization. Close your eyes and imagine that you have the opportunity to reach those peaks that you dream. For example, if you enjoy playing games from a selection of slots at Playamo, imagine you have won a huge jackpot there.
Imagine in more detail, feel that feeling of importance and self-confidence to keep it in your memory. In difficult moments, when you will fall into despair, feeling like a failure, return to this image. This method helps not to give up in the most difficult moments.
Find Support in a Loved One
You probably have a sibling or a friend whose opinion you can trust. If the demons of insecurity are overwhelming you, ask this person for help. At this point, adequate feedback that you’re not fat and you do not need to urgently change your entire closet to please a new acquaintance comes in handy.
The main thing is not to set unattainable goals. It’s okay to sometimes doubt in yourself, not accepting some of your qualities, as long as it doesn’t prevent you to build relationships and enjoy life. So start by asking yourself questions: “What is really important to me?”, “In what area does my low grade hinder me, where does it prevent me from developing?”
Identify the segment where your low self-esteem is blocking your air, and then shift your energies to it. So, if you’re “stuck” in an unpromising position because of your insecurity, then focus your energies in that area. Identify your strengths. Then make a list of those qualities that you lack for career advancement. This is your to do list, hurry to fulfill all its items.
Listen to Your Needs
Feeling your own value and importance is the key to not downplaying your merits. Remember that your desires, dreams, plans are very important. At least for you, they should come first.
If your life revolves around the needs of your children/relatives/boss, and no one cares about your own desires, it’s time to change something. In small steps, you can develop a sense of self-worth by responding to your deepest needs.
Stop Criticising Yourself
Criticism is a companion of low self-esteem, so from now on learn to stop reproaching yourself. Instead of constant self-criticism praise yourself at the end of the day. Notice your successes, change the focus of attention to your strengths and virtues.