Walking to a full-service family law firm and getting a divorce is easy but dealing with the stress that hits your doors after the split is way too challenging. Separation and splits bring a lot of anxiety, depression, and similar other negativities in life.
Apart from all such negativities that surround, one major task that is tough not to crack is the task of co-parenting. Co-parenting may sound easy but it is easier said than done. Shared custody allows the kids to seek love and care of both the parents but it may bring in a sense of awkwardness and discomfort amidst the divorced couple.
But, if all you are concerned about is the wellbeing of your child, then co-parenting should actually not bother you. Want to know how you can share your responsibilities of raising your child, cutting down on the conflicts and awkwardness?
Read on to get acquainted with a few tips that will help you sail the boat in the choppy waters of life that comes after divorce.
Communication is important
You might have planned to turn your ways apart and might have thought of never talking to each other or seeing each other’s faces ever again. But co-parenting needs some communication. Though you might not like the same, peaceful yet purposeful communication is required between the x-partners for taking up the task of co-parenting.
All you need to do is to frame a mindset and focus on the wellbeing of your child giving up on the negative thoughts that haunt your mind.
Co-parenting with your ex may make you fall into a condition where you have to make decisions together in concern with your child. Despite the hatred you may have developed for each other; you should shoulder the responsibility of co-parenting as a team.
Cooperation and further cutting down on bickering and tiffs can trigger easy and efficient team co-parenting.
When the kids have parents residing in two separate homes, they may be juggling all the time from one household to another. May it be on a monthly basis, weekend, or every few days, such a move may not go easy on the kids.
Furthermore, when a kid has to unite with the father, he/she has to separate from the mother and vice versa. Reunions bring hellos and goodbyes at the same time which may not go as easy as said but such things are unavoidable. In such cases, try to make the transitions easy and help your kids to anticipate the sudden changes in their place of residence,
Also instead of making long faces and passing on the anxious vibes to your kids, stay calm and wait for them to return.
Also, based on their age, make sure to pack their belongings in advance so that they do not miss something that they may require in the other parent’s house.
Fair is not equal every time
Many couples believe after the split; a fair game is always 50-50 in every aspect. But in reality, fair is not always having an equivalent share. Especially when you talk about kids, the aftermath of separation and no of days spent in each parent’s house may altogether be a different story. It all depends on the concern and ease of the child.
There may be a case when the mother might be out for work most of the time and the kid may be more inclined towards spending time with their dad. On the contrary, if the mother is always there with the child, the kid may feel like going to his/her dad only during the weekends.
You cannot expect an equal share in the case of custody of the children taking into consideration their liking and will.
Tame your anger
There may be times when your ex may tend to annoy you. But despite all the anger and grief you may face, never insult your ex in front of your children. Learn to tame your temperament and use wisdom instead to deal with such a situation.
Setting your anger aside while co-parenting can help you win the biggest setbacks. Though this may not be easy and you may get mad at your partner instantly, remember that you are doing all this for your kid and such behavior may have a negative impact on their innocent minds.
Practice co-parenting with professionalism
Professionalism is the foundation of successful co-parenting. Go ask the experienced family law attorneys and they will also suggest you the same because professionalism can cut down unnecessary quarrels and arguments.
Being on time, avoiding missing dates, all such things are mandatory to add a pinch of professionalism to your co-parenting task. Would you ever miss an appointment with your business partner? Never, right? The same is the case when you head out to co-parent with your ex-partner.
Treat your ex-spouse like your colleagues and respect time frames to show a respectful and professional approach on agreeing to the conditions mutually decided between the two.
Don’t frame rules for your ex
Different individuals may have a different lifestyle. For example, you might be early to rise and early to bed, you may avoid screen time and you might have the same rules framed for your kid.
On the other hand, your spouse may have a different approach to spending their life. He/She might be a fun-loving person who loves to hang around, take the kids for frequent outings, and get indulged in a video game with kids even at late night. But, this does not mean that you impose your rules on your kid even when they are in your ex’s house.
Co-parenting needs a lot of understanding and there are times when you may have to simply let it go off rather than blabbering over it all the time.
Broken homes are not liked by anyone. Especially for kids, it can be highly traumatic when they do not have both parents together to take care of them. Entering into a co-parenting task can be the only rescue to give your kids what they deserve but it can be tricky at times.
But with these tips, you can indeed keep away the stress that comes along to some extent. Try practicing these and experience how this hard-to-do co-parenting task becomes easy-breezy rather than sucking you up after the split.