If you feel that the constant presence of a kid at home is an unbearable ordeal, do not rush to blame yourself for these thoughts. Parents and children need a break from each other sometimes. Here’s how to properly build boundaries and organize life and activities so as not to go crazy.
As early as age one or two, teach children that parents must sometimes do their own things. Allocate certain hours and days when Mom and Dad are busy: going out on their own errands or relaxing within the home.
Be consistent: take yourself a “day off” one day of the week and allocate a couple of hours to yourself each day at the same time. During this time, one can play with bonuses https://tonybet.com/promotions, read books, or just watch their favorite TV show.
Parents are often afraid that their children will feel bad if they don’t pay attention to them all the time. So they forget about their desires for years, completely concentrating on the child. As a result, mom and dad lose their personal life, and the child loses the chance to become independent.
Divide the Apartment Into Functional Zones
It is possible to arrange the space wisely even in a small apartment. A popular solution is to use a designer partition made of plasterboard or wood with sliding doors. An alternative option is to divide the room with the help of furniture: shelving, closet or kids sofa.
You can even do without the actual division of space – it is enough to arrange several zones in one room. A desk and a computer chair – one zone, armchairs at the coffee table – another, a chair-bag with a console and a TV – a third. In this way, each householder will always find a place to sit and not disturb others.
Put Yourself First
In an airplane emergency, you need to put the oxygen mask first on yourself and then on the baby – otherwise both could die. It’s the same with vacations: to be resourceful, a mom needs to take care of herself first: resting on time, doing the things she loves, and having less anxiety. A happy and rested parent is the key to her children’s happiness.
In the hustle and bustle, we often forget to take care of ourselves – something we need to learn to do. Start small: for example, eat hot food in full portions, stop finishing meals for someone else, and go to the bathroom when you feel like it, not when you have a moment.
Use a psychological technique called “Desire Contact”. Throughout the day, regularly ask yourself the question, “What do I want right now?” This will help you learn to listen to your needs and to separate imposed values from real ones.
Take Time off
Staying with your child 24 hours a day, seven days a week is hard. So do not hesitate to leave him from time to time with other adults.
Most often parents give children to the closest relatives – grandparents. You can write to neighbors or acquaintances who have children of the same age, and take your own to them for the evening. On social networks, you can find families nearby who are willing to help. You can meet them offline, get to know each other, and when your kids become friends, arrange to take them away from each other. If you are not ready to sit with other children sometimes, use the services of a babysitter.
It can be morally difficult for parents to leave their child with another adult. Moms are especially often tormented by guilt. It is important to analyze it: as a rule, it is not in the anxiety for the child, but in shame. It is caused by the stereotype imposed by society, as if mothers need to devote all their free time to the child, and to live for their own pleasure, for example, to go to the nail salon, spa or restaurant, – is unacceptable.
It happens that parents are afraid to cause psychological trauma to a child by leaving him or her with someone else’s adult. It is important to leave only with people with whom your child is comfortable and whom you trust. Be sure to talk it over with your son or daughter before you leave: try not to leave “secretly” while the child is sleeping or distracted.