Conflicts and marriage are inseparable. Couples argue to express their standpoints and reach compromise on significant issues. Often conflicts ruin relationships instead of strengthening them and partners opt for Washington state divorce online in the end.
Learn more about conflicts in marital life. And manage your arguments carefully to prevent your relationships from going to the end.
Conflicts in Marital Life
Marital disputes are essential for nurturing healthy and constructive relationships. The absence of conflicts is an alarming feature that the relationships are long dead. Don’t be afraid and ashamed to argue with your spouse but get ensured that your confrontations are for the good. Check out the conflict tendencies among married people to analyze and improve your own marital situation.
Theory of Conflicts
The theory of conflicts stipulates that there isn’t a couple that can live without any arguments. Since every person is unique and has different life visions and principles, one cannot avoid discussions and confrontations on minor and more significant issues in marital life. The conflict theory on divorce claims that arguing partners are not doomed to break up. But only those who have no results out of conflicts and only damage their relationships with pointless bickering and battles are to end their marriage soon.
Constructive and Destructive Conflicts
In order to determine whether your marital conflicts strengthen your relationships or lead you to divorce, define whether your arguments are constructive or destructive:
- A constructive conflict is intended to create an opportunity for a couple to discuss and resolve their issues in a mutually beneficial way. It is of cooperative nature and expected to develop partners’ personalities and nurture their relationships.
- A destructive conflict is full of negativity and antisocial behavior. It grants no positive results for a couple but only damages the marriage.
So, it is not the point whether you argue often or rarely. Every couple has its own habits and relationship pace. But it depends on whether your arguments are of constructive or destructive nature which defines the future of your marriage.
Four Horsemen of Divorce
For couples that have destructive conflicts occurring frequently, there are four horsemen that will bring the divorce soon. They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
- Destructive arguments often include non-evidenced criticism and irritation by the sheer presence of your partner.
- This leads to contempt on both sides as the product of being offended and humiliated with no point behind it.
- Another reaction covers defensiveness as a natural reaction to hostility and negativity from your spouse.
- When there is no more desire to criticize and react to criticism, stonewalling comes into action. This implies a lack of any reaction, emotions, or feelings expressed towards your partner.
Such a sequence, if not aided by professionals, has the only outcome, a divorce. If you spot any of the listed above behavioral patterns in your marriage and have a desire to save your marriage, hurry to reach for a specialist’s help. Or get prepared to terminate your marriage at the nearest time.
Common Reasons for Conflicts
With the different frequencies, marital conflicts have similar reasons for the occurrence. Couples usually argue over finances, job-related issues, children, and personal issues, such as sex, lifestyle, etc. Check out what may drive you to argue with your partner and participate in constructive conflicts only.
Money and Employment
Finances are usually number one when it comes to marital conflicts. The spouse usually argues over the following things:
- different views on managing a family budget;
- struggling to get a steady income;
- problems with unemployment;
- uncontrolled spending habits;
- having different incomes;
- lacking balance between work and personal life.
Any of the issues may be discussed to find the best compromise and strengthen the relationships or lead to damaging the marriage after failing to reach mutually beneficial decisions.
Having different parenting styles may lead to hurdles in the parents’ and children’s relationships. The high-conflict points cover the following:
- principles on nurturing the kids;
- behavioral issues;
- disciplining and praising children;
- issues with school and extracurricular activities;
- future-related decisions.
Every parent may have different views on what makes their children happy and help them grow up mentally and physically healthy. Mind that your kids will be happier and healthier when their parents argue less but pay them more attention.
Personal issues are of the biggest variety and top frequent occurrence as marital conflicts. They may include any sensitive topics from intimacy, sexual issues, infidelity, and up to common leisure, personal habits, and routine preferences. The more intimate the issue is, the more carefully it should be approached as long as you wish your conflict not to become a destructive one.
Marital conflicts do not doom the relationships to end in a divorce. They are even necessary for the partners to develop as a couple and strengthen their bond. On the contrary, when the discussion turns into a destructive conflict, it will only bring damage to your relationships and bring you apart eventually.